Saturday, June 11, 2011

Lindsay Getting Deep in the Yukon

Scary that B got all deep cause I was going to go there too. After I say that we have seen so many diffent landscapes and kinds of mountains it’s mind blowing. Today I just thought how neat it was that some of the rivers and creeks are muddy from running down less solid parts of the mountains and others are a lighter various of that turquoise glacial lake and contrasted by almost white gravel shores and islands linded with sun bleached drift wood. Others are less rapid and meander slowly through lush forest and marsh type areas. Some of the mountains are all just loose gravel on one side or loose boulders like gravel but bigger. Some are tan or black or gray or red. Some tree covered and others bare and some a combination with snow. Yet I was surprised even more when we started driving past sand dunes today. I mean I have been to Canada before BC twice and I have been blessed to have started going to Ontario fishing with my dad at the age of 9 and for many years after. So Im familiar with a lot of the scenes but there are so meany more diverse secenes this side of the country.

And here’s where I get deep and sentimental with you. You kind of have a lot of time to think in a car and I knew that and that is part of my reason for doing this. Looking for some direction, hope, inspiration guidance, belief in something again. I grew up Lutheran but I’d say I was more spiritual now. Just try to be good to everyone one and live your life well, simple. So being up here where Native American culture is rich and predominant I get excited. I dig me some native American juju. It’s linked with nature and life and the earth and that’s my church.

I also got to thinking about those fishing trips with dad some of my favorite times and fishing with papa and couldn’t help to think both would love this. And mainly that my dad was here too and Corey. Supposedly my dad has a box but Dad you would love this. You may be drooling at all the game saying I could shoot that, but I also know you would be just as excited about seeing all these animals as I am, like the row of turkeys roosting on a fence and a pheasant flying across the road in south Dakota, seeing the just starting to grow antlers in progress on these elk, moose, and deer. And love seeing the bears safely on the side of the road and not hitting the front of your truck. Dad I love you I wish you were here to experience this with me, maybe one day we can go me you and Corey and mom if she can rough it. We can fish the lakes, hike the trails do all the things the signs say not to.

I realized before I left that I have lost myself in the last year or two or perhaps never really knew who I was. Scary discovery! All the things I thought I wanted are material nothing that matters so I’m left to figure that out and I pray to whoever wants to listen that this trips gives me a direction. It’s hard to lose yourself, it’s hard to feel lost and like a failure. But I convinced my B to come to Alaska with me, one of my greatest supporters and I think I can’t be much of a failure if I’ve never camped before and I’ve conquered it made a decision and saved for a rather ambitious trip. If I can conquer 5 states so far and 3 canadian provinces what can’t I do? I know that those who know and love me are say there isn’t anything you can’t and I partially believe that to be true but I don’t know where to go with it. And I see my friends having kids or this incredibly cute like boy walking on the walkway over some of the hot springs in Yellowstone and I can’t help but to want one. One that I can take to these places follow behind and watch him in wonder and take pictures. So this journey is significant to me and I hope to have a moment of clarity and connect with nature and just sit and find myself. Heavy I know but these things happen in life to everyone and I’m there now and I’m struggling and just looking for a little guidance and hope. I believe there is a good chance I may be able to do that with my co-pilot and this beautiful trip. Shoot maybe I’ll just cut my hair and change my name and we can be Thelma and Louise since we already got introuble with the law in the badlands. We hard getiing to be pretty hardcore and badass for real no laughing. I got a little teary eyed there sorry this just means a lot to me and I know I’m 27 and don’t need your permission mom and dad but thanks for letting your baby girl spread her wings a bit.

Oh and Morgan if you are reading this at all I totally thought of you today when B was really wanting a shower and happened to play “Hammer time” and I thought of you saying “shower time” to the same tune.

Enough of this mushy stuff over and out we are almost to Whitehorse and all we’ve had to eat today was some of the two rubbermaids and 120qt cooler of food and drink. We haven’t even made a dent in all this food we brought!

Lindsay

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