Disclaimer: I have ADD so I bounce back and forth a bit be forewarned
That being said I’d like to start with the fact that I’m 27 and my mom requested that I not drop the f bomb because she reads it to my grandmother who has no computer or internet up in Lac Du Flambeau. But I’m fairly certain I dropped that bomb in front of grams before and a few other choice words so I’m not sure I can adhere to that. Sometimes you just need a good swear for emphasis and after all I am the product one parent whose middle finger is their favorite and the other who loves to say son of a bitch. Me swearing should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me or has ever driven in the car with me.
Also I would just like to say sorry I don’t blog much either I’m driving or not willing to miss the views to type on a computer because I have to look at the keys. Besides B and I have like this twin telepathy thing going on and she covers pretty much all I was gonna say and says it better. But I wanted to do today because I just had this stuff in my head. B can fill in what I left out.
This is general but I would like to take a moment to describe to you the landscape we have been traversing. The things that make me think good old America and I love the country. When you are driving through cattle land and you see that babies running and playing in a field that has an old wagon that just fell apart and now gives that space a piece of character, or you see an old car rusting not far from a big red barn that has mountains in the background, or the houses that look like they may have been from the settling days just worn and weathered and tattered but still standing all surrounded by an old split rail fence are the kinds of things people paint and photograph. So far it’s just been too hard to take my eyes off of everything.
So for today I would like to first say I have learned that I am the muscle of this operation and the window cleaner and that on this trip B would die without me and I would get nowhere without her literally because I’m always loosing the keys. Next rule of the road B IS ALWAYS IN CHRGE OF KEYS! Why you ask well after waking up damp and just having everything soaked we got all packed up I duct taped one of the tubs on top of the Vue to try to prevent leakage since it appeared the rain was not gonna let up. Got all done hopped into the driver’s seat asked B for the keys and she said I don’t have them. I fucking (sorry mom) just duct taped them in a container in the tent all rolled up and strapped everything down! Son of a bitch not a good start to the morning. I got them of course because where would we be going. With our theme some fired up we were off to glacier national park with off course playing our anthem of on “on the road again”. P.s. B thinks the tent poles look little magician wands which I’ll give her that one they kind of do and the shrubbery we’ve been seen looks like broccoli. She cracks me up.
Glacier National Park was not too far off and the view on the way was of course breath taking. We once again utilized our America the Beautiful pass (which so far it has been beautiful) saving us another 25 buckoroonis and thus paying for itself. We planned on driving all the way through the park to the border. On the way we saw an impressive amount of waterfalls and rain and snow run off emptying into Lake McDonald which was crystal clear. I had to walk down to the pebbled shore and take it all in and steal some glacier national park rocks because among my love for all animals (mammals, reptiles, amphibians, and yes birds) I also love rocks and trees and flowers. Pretty much everything outside and all this stuff is different than Wisconsin stuff, besides I like to pretend I’m a photographer so yes there are bird pictures but B horrifically exaggerates on the number. I think I have more pictures of Bison than birds for the record. B figures out how to adjust the shutter speed on my camera so we could take some cool shoots of the water falls. Thanks B! We pulled over often trying to capture everything. This park was not as animal filled as Yellowstone but we saw a couple things. We saw deer when we saw the sign for trail rides (that was a must on my list to do) so we stopped got all geared up and the area was abandoned. Figures just another thing to agitate me for the day. But in the corral there were two deer one looking very nervous approaching the barn so I had to see if there was something she was looking at. Nothing. But I felt like there must have been something there. Anywho I broke the rules again…”don’t approach the wildlife. I sure did get in that corral and try to get that deer to lick my hand but no go but B got some classic photos of number one ruler breaker! After our wildlife encounter we hopped back into the Vue (who has been a trooper) and continued to the road to the sun only to find it was closed! Are you kidding me that’s the only road through the park? We had nothing but road construction but thankfully it hasn’t been that bad but a road closed put a damper on things and extra traveling hours to our day. Our day was kind of against us. So we turned our happy asses around while I’m muttering profanities under my breath. They could have told us that road was closed when we entered but of course NO that be too logical. So off to see the park again in a different direction. And then a gift was just on a sign before we left the park…Trail rides. We drove in and YES horses! We’re in business baby. I walked up to two decked out cowboys hats, vests, wranglers, big buckles and all. One of them asked what can I do you for? I said I want to go riding he said “ok we can go right now. One or two hour?” I said one hour and my cousins coming also. B's first time horseback riding. I told her there was nothing to be scared of and she’d be fine. We had to sign our lives away and sign a waiver for helmets. B chose to protect her head I opted not to wear one I no stranger to horses. B got a pretty bay named Smokey who turned out to be quite pokey. I got the one I wanted a beautiful black boy named Snip. It was kind of kismet. I was so excited when Tara walked him over to me. B got saddled up and I helped adjust her stirrups after Joe helped her up…no step stools people. Tara helped me up and trust me it’s been a long time since I mounted a horse with no step stool but she got me up there. Now to tell you about our guide Taylor Hansen my new husband who was singing while we were getting all signed up. Of course I had to ask if he was going to sign to us on the ride. He quickly said absolutely. Cute and going to serenade us. He was quite the humourus and chatty guide and our ride was great he asked all about us and cracked jokes, quick witted that one was. He told us his favorite smells are horse manure, fresh cut hay, diesel, and skunk! I said I can agree with the horse manure, once you’ve had a horse and have the smell of barn in your life since you are 8 you miss it. Weird I know but we all know imp not your everyday average girl. He told us there were Native Americans up ahead holding shovels…just trial maintenance. B asked if you ever see wild life on these rides and he quickly said yes. I got all excited and it was just another worker. I reminded him about his promise to sing and he said all I know is country. We replied with a “we love country”! He asked us if we even knew what real country was and we told him! So he said he was a sucker for Zack Brown Band and “chicken fried”. And there it was he sang us the entire song beautifully mind you. So I appropriately asked when he was done if he was married, NO, do you have a girlfriend, NO, do you want one? Couldn’t help it cute funny loves horses and the outdoors and sings, SOLD. He said he’s not leaving Montana and I quickly replied I have no problem moving. Other thins we learned about Taylor, he doesn’t like the city because it’s like condensed milk or concentrated orange juice. Too many people in one small space. I also asked if he wanted to hire me since I’m unemployed but unfortunately all full up, that was before I asked him if he wanted a girlfriend mind you. He however did tell me if he had one to give he would work something out. He asked us if he wanted him to sing happy birthday or frosty the snow man. And we found out he’s originally from Texas and he was corn fed and only 14. He told us his hat was made of Kevlar just in case he falls and then quickly said that’s and outright lie. We got back from the highlight of my day and we took a picture we my new husband Taylor and we were off to our detour around the park. Oh and when we were talking with Tara while Taylor got the horses ready we told her we stopped at the other trail ride spot and she told us that one was closed (thanks captain obvious). We told her we saw some deer in the pen though. She said those are some dumb deer because yesterday a mountain lion killed a deer there and started dragging off. B asked what time that took place, 2pm. Just about the time we were there. I knew that deer was nervous for a good reason. That lion was probably there since the park ranger took the carcass away from the lion. I wanted to see a mountain lion but from my car instead we were probably being watched by one unknowingly scary.
In our little detour we stopped at this trading post in hopes to get B’s Montana shot glass and my spoon but no dice. All Native American art, artifacts and such and animal’s hides and hooves and horns and shells and jar bones and claws and teeth. So away we went and stopped about a mile down the road were we met a very friendly gentleman i.e. the store owner who we chatted with told him we were going to Alaska and he told us he lived there for a a while and that was where all these gorgeous photos of the bears I was looking at were from in Katmai. We got our customary souvenirs and some huckleberry white chocolate. We had seen signs everywhere talking about huckleberries; apparently Montana is also famous for huckleberries. So I figured we had to at least try something huckleberry and it was pretty good. Can’t really go wrong with chocolate.
So far South Dakota, Wyoming, and Montana have been beef cow country. Far less horse than I thought there would be but the ones I have seen are beautiful a lot of paints or pintos can’t remember the difference. For those who don’t know what either of those mean it’s the color of the horse, white with blocks of black, brown, chestnut or tan. They are by far my favorite and just remind me of the west and Indians riding bareback with war paint on the horses. Our detour was not the most terrible thing until we hit and unpaved road full of mud potholes seeing as it was raining and all. I apologized to my baby the Vue and told her I would get her a good wash and oil change after this. Thankfully paved road came because that was just another unexpected snafu in our already comedy of errors day. B made us sandwiches once we were on flat paved road and no sooner did we start eating them that the border snuck up on us. Customs was harmless and quick. The Mounty asked the general questions, are we carrying any weapons, pepper spray, switch blades or butterfly knives, tobacco, firewood. He didn’t ask about our potatoes though so woohoo. He took our passports in came back out and just said “for future reference don’t be eating sandwiches when you go through customs, I don’t really mind but other Mounties may give you a hard time.” We apologized and said we didn’t know the border was so close, he said he figured. We went through and of course took a picture by the Alberta sign.
As we entered Alberta we played the “Oh Canada” song should look it up its great! To my surprise the amount of cows dissipated and we even saw some dairy cows, but the stock now included way more horses, flocks of sheep with one llama thrown in( perhaps for height advantage to signal danger. On the way we saw a cow who was about to give birth and a lot of ducks in the marsh/flooded areas. People also let the dogs get to run free and I had the pleasure of seeing two getting frisky just like the bears in the park. We decided to bed down in Okotoks Alberta where we found an actual town one we haven’t seen in a long time probably since we left Minnesota. There was a super Wal-Mart a Costco, staples, all the fast food places you desire, a remax office (lets move to Canada mom better health care) and so much more. We got to the campsite just about at our goal time of 7:30 got lost a little in the site but finally found the tenting spots. All dirt and literally right on the river and even better it wasn’t raining. We got set up in record time and we even had our first real campfire. Thank fully there was enough dry drift wood on the riverbank that we didn’t have to buy any our steal anyone else’s which was immediate grounds for eviction from the site. I got it started all by myself and even got to use the hatchet. Made grilled cheese pudgy pies and yes potatoes. I have to make two pudgy pies because I burnt my first one to a blackened crisp. And yes we had our first smores finally. B went to go take a shower only to find you had to pay, and not only that but in looneys, her words “what the fuck are looneys!!!” She may have been a little upset that she didn’t get a shower because she abruptly declared she was cranky and going to bed. I told her we’ll get her clean it will be okay. I wrote for a while and fell quickly to sleep by the sound of the river and feeling safe that we could see the Costco from our campsite.
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